Mary Oliver

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?"









Tuesday, January 24, 2017

New Day

I took this photo one morning last week; it looks like the sky is on fire. I continue to struggle with the blues and indecision and anxiety, but mornings like this remind me of how much beauty there is to see in the world, if only I remember to look.  
On Friday I found a sweet little package in my mailbox, and when I opened it, I found all of these wonderful treats, sent to me from Deborah!  What a wonderful surprise!  She made the cherry pie notions bag and the stitch markers herself, and included a lovely note, a measuring tape, and a tin of BadgerPoop mints!  
 Here's a closeup of the stitch markers.  Deborah and I met through Ravelry or our blogs, I'm not positive which now, as it's been so long ago, but we've also been fortunate enough to meet up in person at least twice.  She is the sweetest person, and I hope to visit her state someday soon.
I dropped in on my youngest daughter on Sunday for a few minutes and was able to see my "grand cat", Fern.  Fern is the sweetest, most lovable cat I've ever met.  She's playing with her "baby" in this picture; Melissa told me that she has acted like this toy is her baby ever since she got it and becomes upset if she loses it temporarily.  
 
 
 
As for the Women's March, I chickened out.  After hearing about the violence in DC on Friday, I became apprehensive about attending alone, but decided to keep my options open, so on Saturday morning, I drove all the way to Woodbridge, just outside of DC.  I stopped at an IKEA there to take a break, and look at some Twitter feeds to weigh my options.  When I saw how crowded the metro stations were, I decided to play it safe and come home.  Am I sorry I didn't push past my fears?  Yes, a little bit.  It's so hard to tell whether we should listen to the voice in our head or stretch our boundaries.  How do you know when to do which?  I'm terribly pleased there was no violence and flabbergasted by all the pink hats, and I hope against hope that positive change will come out of it all.  But at this point, I have unfollowed so many people on Facebook that I'm not sure if there's any point of still being on it, because I'm exhausted by all of it.  Both sides.  All of it.  I need a break.  Is that wise? Is that right? I doubt it. I don't know.  I just know I'm tired and sad and disappointed and need a little time away from it.  Maybe I should have marched, maybe it would have invigorated me, but I didn't and I'm not.   But I also know that there is beauty in this world, if I remember to look for it.  So I will rest and I will keep looking.

8 comments:

  1. I'm glad if I could raise your spirits for a bit. I think of you often.
    I think you should trust your gut on the march. Maybe the timing just wasn't right for you. A statement was made on our behalf! Even if I could do that much standing, I could not have handled that crowd.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Deborah, you really did. I love everything and it was so very thoughtful of you.

      Delete
  2. I've been waiting for your post to see what you ended up doing! I think you made the right decision...like you, I'm so thankful there was no violence, but the sheer magnitude of the crowd would have done me in! And, like you, I am so tired of it all -- both sides -- I don't look at FB very much, but when I do I just find it irritating.

    Lovely surprise package from Deborah -- those Badger Poop Mints are a hoot! Love the little notions bag and the stitch markers. So thoughtful.

    And, a beautiful shot of your sunrise. There is beauty in each day for sure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you; it's so hard for me to not second guess myself, but I have to accept that it was right for me at that particular time. And I have to take care of myself right now until I feel stronger. But I know I will and soon.

      Delete
  3. I am crazy in love with fabric prints like that cherry pie. Love it.

    Oh, Rose. You know, sometimes I think that as teachers, we are so used to being the Absolute Authority Figure for so many people for so much of our lives that it gets exhausting. I go through bouts of Indecision all the time. I often say to Rick, "Just be the decider/grownup on this one", or for the whole day. Even now in retirement, I abdicate decision-making sometimes.

    Add to that the role of Mother, and our Deciding sometimes just has to have a break.

    As long as you're on top of it if it becomes a Lifestyle, you're okay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. And now that I live alone, it can become overwhelming to make a decision without someone else's input, even though I rarely needed help before. I'll find my way again soon, I'm sure, and meanwhile, I will try and practice patience with myself. Thanks for commenting!!

      Delete
  4. Hi Rose, I can tell you if it had been left up to me I would have never gone to the march in D.C. I do not like crowds. My mother-in-law came from AZ to attend. I could not in good conscience let an 83 year old brave the metro and the crowds by herself. I can tell you I am so happy I went. It was amazing! Everyone was so pleasant. I understand the unknown keeping you away. I was worried for all the things that could go wrong. Don't second guess your decision. It was right for you. You may also tell people you were proudly represented by a crocheter from Leesburg, VA.
    Hope you have a nice week, Lisa
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, your MIL is amazing! Good for you both!! And thanks for representing for me, I am truly grateful.

      Delete