I think this picture that S took at the MS&WF is so good that I wanted to post it again. I love the composition and the way the light looks.I've been feeling pretty low lately and I've been trying to figure out why. I really think I'm struggling with the myriad of ailments I've been having to deal with and all the emotions that are surfacing as a result. It occurred to me yesterday that I may be dealing with something very close to grief. I've been mad and now I'm kind of blue and tired and I'm thinking that sounds an awful lot like a couple of stages of grief. So what am I grieving for? I'm thinking it's about aging and the changes that my body is undergoing as a result. Now I have to think about a plan of action for getting to the acceptance stage. (The ulcers prevent drinking as a means of coping by the way, but other ideas are welcome.)
Meanwhile, I still have knitting. And thanks to a combo of posts from Knithound Brooklyn and Yarn Harlot, I'm thinking about creating my own personal handwarmer club. These would be the perfect projects to take down to the beach house next month. Of course, I already said that about the baby blanket I'm working on, but I'm clicking right along on that so I may need something else as backup. I've printed off about four new (to me) handwarmer patterns, plus the two or three favorites I've already used (Toast, Fetching, Maine Morning Mitts, and Dashing), and now I just need to bag them up with the appropriate yarns. I may get to that this weekend, and if so, photos and details will be posted. I may include a few hat pattern bags too. Getting a jump on Christmas gifts when one has five children/stepchildren, plus a few of their significant others, and a couple of nieces to knit for is always a good plan.
Edited to add the patterns I'm thinking of using (so I don't forget!):
Looks like fun to me!
I'm assuming you're around my age, with the college-age kids and all. Health-wise I've been lucky, so far. But I can feel the beginnings of arthritis in my knees (my mom has it so I've been waiting for it!) and I have chronic foot problems. But (knock on wood) I just have to moderate my activities, not stop. YET!
ReplyDeleteThat said, last year, when I was facing the big 5-0, I was depressed for much of the year. I think that moving into middle age is very difficult, especially in a culture that values youth to a ridiculous degree. Throughout that year, I looked back on my life and felt very insignificant. I haven't written a book, sold a painting, made a lot of money for my kids, etc.
I'm not sure what chased those feelings away. A month before my birthday I took a mountain trip with my best friend, and that's where the healing began.
All that said, I don't have any wisdom for you. I think aging is one of those very personal journeys. You have a wonderful life, though, and I do think that will help you move through this difficult stretch.
I started to post this last night when I got called away by the hospice hot line. Check out this pattern for Cancans. Free on Ravelry, these were a fun and beautiful knitting experience using sock yarn. There is thumb gusset shaping that makes them very feminine.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/cancans
Oh, make sure you get your thyroid tested. It can be the root of the blues. Take lots of walks on your beautiful beaches and maybe do something nice for yourself, like a massage or pedicure.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
Thank you both, I know I'll get through this particular bump in the road. But seriously? When does the road smooth out for good? Oh right, when we're dead. Hmm.
ReplyDeleteHandwarmers are my favorite gifts to give and receive too.
ReplyDeleteHugs and warm thoughts to you on this bump in the road. I think about you all the time and how awesome it is that you are able to walk to the beach - i've even looked at homes in yorktown so that i can walk along york river beach. but a river can never take the place of the ocean. my problems are so trivial...maybe i'm creating drama because i'm about to turn 40 - you think!?
Happy Mother's Day to you!
Yes, sometimes I wonder if the "problem" is that there is no real tragedy and so I inflate the petty things to a higher level than I should. Too much navel-gazing my mom would say. She's a big proponent of "if you work enough, you won't have time to worry about the little things" and maybe she's right. Thanks to all and Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and women who serve as stand in mothers.
ReplyDeleteGood for you to get a head start on those gifts. You'll be ready for anything.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a solution for you...it must be very difficult to have that kind of heaviness in your days. I agree with Rudee that the ocean and beach walks could help.
Being way beyond the age you're at now, I'll say that it does smooth out. Hang in there, stay healthy and keep knitting.
The handwarmer club idea is fantastic! And the patterns you've chosen are super fun. Thanks so much for the shout out, too!
ReplyDelete