Mary Oliver

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?"

Friday, January 23, 2015

Beginning Again

I just wrapped up the first semester of my 18th year of teaching and I'm glad again for the fresh start I get so often in this crazy career of mine. Teaching really does allow me to start anew over and over again and I think that's a bonus. A bonus I'm not sure I can live without, to be quite frank. For a myriad of reasons, I've been struggling a lot the past month or two and this is my chance to reframe and reset my outlook. I've always been an optimist but lately that feeling has been slipping away and it's scared the hell out of me, to be honest. I may need a medication tweak, something I will address with my doctor at my next appointment, and if so, I'll definitely tweak away. But until then, I'm going to try to address this ennui with ensuring I'm getting enough sleep, fresh air, and eating right from the new diet plan. Maybe it's just the after-Christmas blahs, maybe it's the health changes, or maybe I am actually struggling with a bit of depression. But I wanted to keep whatever it is out in the open, especially since you are all so supportive and honest as well. This too, shall pass.



Meanwhile, I continue to knit. This is a bad picture of a beautiful hat, Thicket, done up in a skein of The Fiber Company's Road to China Light. Love it.

I'm also at the arm hole decreases on the back section of my Edie sweater. I hope to photograph it tomorrow, if the weather cooperates. My weekend plans are knitting and maybe cleaning out a little bit of clutter. Definitely knitting though. You?






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  2. Oh, Rose, you are such a wonderful person! I am so sorry you are going through a tough period, but I know I am just one of many who believe in you. You're doing all the right things; this, too, will come to an end.
    I haven't been able to meet up with you for a few years, now, and seeing you is one of the reasons I want to visit the East Coast this summer.
    Hang in there.

  3. I am struggling a bit to Rose, not fun feeling like I am slipping. Medication may be helpful but I am afraid to take it as I have such a big response to meds and it isn't good. I have forgotten to take Vit D, so I am on it again and hope that it helps. Seems the older I get the less I can cope with all the changes in life. But we have to don't we? Good luck and feel better.

  4. You know, it might be ALL of those things. We women "of a certain age" can also get overwhelmed by the feeling that We're Just Not Doing/Being Enough. This time of year, with a sunlight deficit, and long stretches of uncertain, changeable weather, can wreak havoc on our wellbeing.

    Give yourself a break and remind yourself that you are Doing Your Best. Eat mindfully, stay centered at school with your focus on teaching the kid(s) who want(s) to be there, and when you are home, try to make it an uncluttered life, both literally and figuratively.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help. And don't try to do it All At Once.

    Not preaching or prescribing, just speaking from lots and lots of experience. XO

  5. Thank you all so much. I agree with all the reasons I listed as well as yours, plus, my husband and I are in counseling and it isn't going all that well, so that's another big factor in play. Only time will tell, but I believe all will be well, no matter how it all plays out. Just going to keep on, as we do, and be grateful for what I do have, which is truly so very much. Love you guys!